What’s New In TSA Crazy: The Bad, The Good, & The Good Riddance

Jul 22, 2017 by

Three things the TSA stopped doing out of the goodness of their hearts wait just kidding While I’ve been a convicted terrorist...

read more

The Time I Tried Going To Canada, Totally Unrelated To The TSA

Jul 15, 2017 by

Proud misdemeanors, regrettable felonies, and SWAT team follies at the Canadian border. Weddings are cool, so Nicole and I were going...

read more

New Episode Of “People Who Think Everything’s A Bomb”: iPod Jihad

Jul 8, 2017 by

The star of this story is the iPod my mom got me for Christmas. I loaded it with Anthony Robbins seminars and went to board my flight...

read more

I, The Teflon Terrorist: Flying Internationally As A Convicted Terrorist: Part IV

Jul 1, 2017 by

Envelopes of bribery cash, pedophiles, and more in my reach for the coveted title of “international terrorist.” The plan...

read more

I Try To Take A Laptop Onto An Plane. Here’s What Happened.

Jun 24, 2017 by

Washington DC gets involved in the TSA’s latest hard-fought effort to embarrass itself. Readers of Wayne Dyer – and pretty much...

read more

I Broke Him: On TSA Resistance And The Merits Of Mockery

Jun 17, 2017 by

Bygone are the days of listless TSA agents giving terrorists half-hearted patdowns, barely making contact, and merely putting on a...

read more

I Met A TSA Agent Who Has Never Been On A Plane

Jun 10, 2017 by

I don’t verbally abuse TSA agents all the time. Sometimes I keep it restrained to understated mockery. And at times, nothing is...

read more

Why Everyone Should Be On The TSA List: The Perks Of Terrorist-Status

May 23, 2017 by

1. Terrorists go through security faster I don’t even like to talk about this, lest it be perceived as a backhanded compliment to the...

read more

Hacking The TSA: Exploiting Terrorist Status To Skip 45-Minute Lines

Jan 28, 2016 by

I did it. I gamed the system to skip the security line. And I will strike again. It took a big chunk of my dignity, but after...

read more

My Friend Was Just Added To The “No-Fly” List

Dec 20, 2015 by

This one is serious. Everything here is serious, but I’m not even going to attempt to be irreverent. My friend tried to board a...

read more

TSA Freaks Out Over My Starbucks Coffee Bomb

Dec 1, 2014 by

Idiocy reaches new levels as the TSA goes on Red Alert over my Starbucks mug. Someone, for the love of God, please tell me how I can...

read more

I Figured Out Why The TSA Sets Up “Security Audits” At The Gate

Nov 15, 2014 by

When it hit me what they’re trying to do with their obnoxious “security audits” at the gate. The horribly pathetic...

read more

How I Mess With Airline Staff At The Gate For Being TSA Puppets

Nov 8, 2014 by

Something very strange happens at the gate about 75% of the time I fly. It is clearly related to being on The List. But I...

read more

Drama At The Gate: What Happens After Security

Nov 3, 2014 by

After TSA scrutiny, they still have a couple of cruel jokes left for the jetsetting terrorist. One is the “approach the gate...

read more

The Thing I Carry Everywhere That Drives The TSA Crazy

Oct 9, 2014 by

This $100 item comes highly recommended if you’re trying to mess with the TSA. About six months ago I got this thing called...

read more
Page 1 of 3123
Get two unreleased stories:
(instant PDF download)