Coming Soon: Jetsetting Terrorist: The Book

  • 170 pages.
  • 48 stories.
  • Paperback

Preview the book: Get two sample chapters:


 Table of Contents

Part I: In The Beginning… (There Was a Fake Agency Who Had No Idea What They Were Doing)

16: What A Terrorist’s Airline Ticket Looks Like

17: Fighting Sycophantic, TSA-Loving Liberals In Line @ LAX

19: Being A Terrorist And Flying Into LAX The Day Of The Shooting

21: The Thing I Take Everywhere That Drives The TSA Crazy

23: Counter-Harrassing The TSA: My Girlfriend Got Me A Swtichblade-Comb

25: Switchblade-Comb Chronicles: Part II

26: My Shoes Test Positive For Explosives

28: Flying Out Of A Small Town Airport: Aka The TSA Goes Bananas

29: TSA Agent Tries To Make Up Rules, I Laugh At Him, He Runs Away

31: How The Airlines And The TSA Snitch On Each Other

33: The TSA Agent Who Knew My Name Before I Told Her

35: Flying Internationally As A Convicted Terrorist, Part I

38: Flying Internationally As A Convicted Terrorist: Part II

43: The TSA Agent Who Likes The Beastie Boys

45: Drama At The Gate: What Happens After Security

47: I WIN: How I Parlayed An Intrusive TSA Search Into A Free Flight

49: “This Passenger Cannot Be Assigned To An Exit Row”

51: How I Mess With Airline Staff At The Gate For Being TSA Puppets

53: The TSA Just Sold-Out The FBI And Told Me A Huge Secret

54: I Figured Out Why The TSA Sets Up “Security Audits” At The Gate

56: TSA Freaks Out Over My Starbucks Coffee Bomb

Part II: Flight Privilege, Terrorist Entitlement, And Advanced Jetsetter McCarthyism

64: Why Everyone Should Be On The TSA List: The Perks Of Terrorist-Status

68: I Met A TSA Agent Who Has Never Been On A Plane

70: Flying Internationally As A Convicted Terrorist: Part III

73: I Broke Him: On TSA Resistance And The Merits Of Mockery

76: I Try To Take A Laptop Onto A Plane: Here’s What Happened.

81: I, Teflon Terrorist: Flying Internationally As A Convicted Terrorist, Part IV

86: New Episode Of “People Who Think Everything’s A Bomb:” Ipod Explosives

89: The Time I Tried Going To Canada, Totally Unrelated To The TSA

93: Hacking The TSA: Exploiting Terrorist Status To Skip 45-Minute Lines

96: My Friend Was Just Added To The “No-Fly” List

97: What’s New In TSA Crazy: The Bad, The Good, & The Good Riddance

100: Delta Agent: “I’m Not Supposed To Tell You [Why You’re On The List]”

102: Flying Internationally As A Convicted Terrorist, Part V

104: Customs Confiscates My Computer When I Won’t Give Up My Password

Part III: The New Era Of TSA Crazy

111: “Things Have Changed.” TSA Dorks Flex Muscles With New Rules

115: Drama & Duplicity: TSA Throws Airlines Under The Plane

118: New Era Of TSA Crazy: I’m Missing Half My Flights Now

125: Lightning Round

129: “Start Throwing Vouchers At Me:” How My Video Went Viral

135: US Airways Get Their Revenge, Part One

143: I Get Put On The US Airways “Internal No Fly List”

149: I Got A TSA Guy To Pick Up My Boarding Pass After I Threw It At Him


158: <Top Secret Story For Book Buyers Only>

166: Epilogue: “To The Average Person, You Are Very Unrelatable…”

170: Acknowledgements

-Jetsetting Terrorist

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