I, The Teflon Terrorist: Flying Internationally As A Convicted Terrorist: Part IV

Jul 1, 2017 by

Envelopes of bribery cash, pedophiles, and more in my reach for the coveted title of “international terrorist.” The plan...

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I Try To Take A Laptop Onto An Plane. Here’s What Happened.

Jun 24, 2017 by

Washington DC gets involved in the TSA’s latest hard-fought effort to embarrass itself. Readers of Wayne Dyer – and pretty much...

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I Broke Him: On TSA Resistance And The Merits Of Mockery

Jun 17, 2017 by

Bygone are the days of listless TSA agents giving terrorists half-hearted patdowns, barely making contact, and merely putting on a...

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I Met A TSA Agent Who Has Never Been On A Plane

Jun 10, 2017 by

I don’t verbally abuse TSA agents all the time. Sometimes I keep it restrained to understated mockery. And at times, nothing is...

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Why Everyone Should Be On The TSA List: The Perks Of Terrorist-Status

May 23, 2017 by

1. Terrorists go through security faster I don’t even like to talk about this, lest it be perceived as a backhanded compliment to the...

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Hacking The TSA: Exploiting Terrorist Status To Skip 45-Minute Lines

Jan 28, 2016 by

I did it. I gamed the system to skip the security line. And I will strike again. It took a big chunk of my dignity, but after...

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My Friend Was Just Added To The “No-Fly” List

Dec 20, 2015 by

This one is serious. Everything here is serious, but I’m not even going to attempt to be irreverent. My friend tried to board a...

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TSA Freaks Out Over My Starbucks Coffee Bomb

Dec 1, 2014 by

Idiocy reaches new levels as the TSA goes on Red Alert over my Starbucks mug. Someone, for the love of God, please tell me how I can...

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I Figured Out Why The TSA Sets Up “Security Audits” At The Gate

Nov 15, 2014 by

When it hit me what they’re trying to do with their obnoxious “security audits” at the gate. The horribly pathetic...

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How I Mess With Airline Staff At The Gate For Being TSA Puppets

Nov 8, 2014 by

Something very strange happens at the gate about 75% of the time I fly. It is clearly related to being on The List. But I...

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Drama At The Gate: What Happens After Security

Nov 3, 2014 by

After TSA scrutiny, they still have a couple of cruel jokes left for the jetsetting terrorist. One is the “approach the gate...

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The Thing I Carry Everywhere That Drives The TSA Crazy

Oct 9, 2014 by

This $100 item comes highly recommended if you’re trying to mess with the TSA. About six months ago I got this thing called...

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Counter-Harrassing The TSA: My Girlfriend Got Me A Swtichblade-Comb

Oct 9, 2014 by

My girlfriend gets me a comb disguised as a switchblade knife, the TSA hates it. I think it started when we watched the 80s classic...

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TSA Agent Tries To Make Up Rules, I Laugh At Him, He Runs Away

Oct 9, 2014 by

TSA agent tries to tell me I can’t board a flight. I laugh at him. He scurries off like a little bitch. A consistent theme...

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Fighting Sycophantic, TSA-loving Liberals In Line @ LAX

Oct 2, 2014 by

Scribbled hastily at the gate, 2014 The scene: LAX security. The time: 30 minutes ago. This is fresh in my memory so I’m going...

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