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I Broke Him: On TSA Resistance And The Merits Of Mockery
Bygone are the days of listless TSA agents giving terrorists half-hearted patdowns, barely making contact, and merely putting on a...
read more“Jetsetting Terrorist The Book”: Get two sample chapters
I Met A TSA Agent Who Has Never Been On A Plane
I don’t verbally abuse TSA agents all the time. Sometimes I keep it restrained to understated mockery. And at times, nothing is...
read moreWhy Everyone Should Be On The TSA List: The Perks Of Terrorist-Status
1. Terrorists go through security faster I don’t even like to talk about this, lest it be perceived as a backhanded compliment to the...
read moreHacking The TSA: Exploiting Terrorist Status To Skip 45-Minute Lines
I did it. I gamed the system to skip the security line. And I will strike again. It took a big chunk of my dignity, but after...
read moreMy Friend Was Just Added To The “No-Fly” List
This one is serious. Everything here is serious, but I’m not even going to attempt to be irreverent. My friend tried to board a...
read moreTSA Freaks Out Over My Starbucks Coffee Bomb
Idiocy reaches new levels as the TSA goes on Red Alert over my Starbucks mug. Someone, for the love of God, please tell me how I can...
read moreI Figured Out Why The TSA Sets Up “Security Audits” At The Gate
When it hit me what they’re trying to do with their obnoxious “security audits” at the gate. The horribly pathetic...
read moreHow I Mess With Airline Staff At The Gate For Being TSA Puppets
Something very strange happens at the gate about 75% of the time I fly. It is clearly related to being on The List. But I...
read moreDrama At The Gate: What Happens After Security
After TSA scrutiny, they still have a couple of cruel jokes left for the jetsetting terrorist. One is the “approach the gate...
read moreThe Thing I Carry Everywhere That Drives The TSA Crazy
This $100 item comes highly recommended if you’re trying to mess with the TSA. About six months ago I got this thing called...
read moreCounter-Harrassing The TSA: My Girlfriend Got Me A Swtichblade-Comb
My girlfriend gets me a comb disguised as a switchblade knife, the TSA hates it. I think it started when we watched the 80s classic...
read moreTSA Agent Tries To Make Up Rules, I Laugh At Him, He Runs Away
TSA agent tries to tell me I can’t board a flight. I laugh at him. He scurries off like a little bitch. A consistent theme...
read moreFighting Sycophantic, TSA-loving Liberals In Line @ LAX
Scribbled hastily at the gate, 2014 The scene: LAX security. The time: 30 minutes ago. This is fresh in my memory so I’m going...
read moreWhat A Terrorist’s Airline Ticket Looks Like
It all starts with the boarding pass, and four ominous letters in the corner: “SSSS.” Translation: “security threat.” And from there,...
read moreMy Shoes Tested Positive For Explosives
Denver should know better. They’re like the 5th busiest airport in the US or something. So why did they swab my shoes?...
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The TSA Agent Who Likes The Beastie Boys
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I Met A TSA Agent Who Has Never Been On A Plane
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Flying Out Of A Small Town Airport: Aka The TSA Goes Bananas
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