I Broke Him: On TSA Resistance And The Merits Of Mockery

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Bygone are the days of listless TSA agents giving terrorists half-hearted patdowns, barely making contact, and merely putting on a...

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I Met A TSA Agent Who Has Never Been On A Plane

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I don’t verbally abuse TSA agents all the time. Sometimes I keep it restrained to understated mockery. And at times, nothing is...

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Why Everyone Should Be On The TSA List: The Perks Of Terrorist-Status

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1. Terrorists go through security faster I don’t even like to talk about this, lest it be perceived as a backhanded compliment to the...

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Hacking The TSA: Exploiting Terrorist Status To Skip 45-Minute Lines

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I did it. I gamed the system to skip the security line. And I will strike again. It took a big chunk of my dignity, but after...

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My Friend Was Just Added To The “No-Fly” List

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This one is serious. Everything here is serious, but I’m not even going to attempt to be irreverent. My friend tried to board a...

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TSA Freaks Out Over My Starbucks Coffee Bomb

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Idiocy reaches new levels as the TSA goes on Red Alert over my Starbucks mug. Someone, for the love of God, please tell me how I can...

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I Figured Out Why The TSA Sets Up “Security Audits” At The Gate

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When it hit me what they’re trying to do with their obnoxious “security audits” at the gate. The horribly pathetic...

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How I Mess With Airline Staff At The Gate For Being TSA Puppets

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Something very strange happens at the gate about 75% of the time I fly. It is clearly related to being on The List. But I...

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Drama At The Gate: What Happens After Security

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After TSA scrutiny, they still have a couple of cruel jokes left for the jetsetting terrorist. One is the “approach the gate...

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The Thing I Carry Everywhere That Drives The TSA Crazy

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This $100 item comes highly recommended if you’re trying to mess with the TSA. About six months ago I got this thing called...

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Counter-Harrassing The TSA: My Girlfriend Got Me A Swtichblade-Comb

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My girlfriend gets me a comb disguised as a switchblade knife, the TSA hates it. I think it started when we watched the 80s classic...

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TSA Agent Tries To Make Up Rules, I Laugh At Him, He Runs Away

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TSA agent tries to tell me I can’t board a flight. I laugh at him. He scurries off like a little bitch. A consistent theme...

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Fighting Sycophantic, TSA-loving Liberals In Line @ LAX

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Scribbled hastily at the gate, 2014 The scene: LAX security. The time: 30 minutes ago. This is fresh in my memory so I’m going...

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What A Terrorist’s Airline Ticket Looks Like

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It all starts with the boarding pass, and four ominous letters in the corner: “SSSS.” Translation: “security threat.” And from there,...

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My Shoes Tested Positive For Explosives

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Denver should know better. They’re like the 5th busiest airport in the US or something. So why did they swab my shoes?...

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