The TSA Just Sold-Out The FBI And Told Me A Huge Secret

Jul 13, 2014 by

The TSA Just Sold-Out The FBI And Told Me A Huge Secret

How I learned why they really disappear into a back room with my ID for 20 minutes.

Two months ago I was flying out of Atlanta on a quick 48-hour trip to Austin. My flight was at 6:05 AM. I went through security at 4:45 AM. And this is where I learned some valuable intel about what really goes on in that back room, the one where they bring my ID every time I fly.

I went through the usual routine, where I’m left standing there with my bag while I wait for a TSA agent to emerge from a shadowy back room and return my ID. This day, it was taking a long time.

Like, a really long time.

I got someone’s attention and told them I hadn’t been given my ID back. He went in the back room to check.

Someone else came out and told me there was a problem. They couldn’t clear me to board yet.

“We have to call you in,” he said, “and the FBI office isn’t open. We’re trying to figure it out.”

Bombshell. The TSA has to report my travels to the FBI.

I was eventually “cleared to board,” and with some new intel: The FBI is updated on my travels in real time.

Fellow citizens, you just dodged a huge bullet. I almost flew to Austin and played pool with my ex-girlfriend totally undetected by the FBI.

Close call, America.


-Jetsetting Terrorist

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  1. David

    Wouldn’t be easier if the FBI had an email address you could send your itineraries too? That would save some time.

  2. Mark

    I think it would be awesome if you knew the agents name the TSA reported to at the airport your flying out of before checking in.

    When the TSA takes away your ID for review you could have them transmit a friendly message to your local FBI reporting agent at the same time 🙂

    Knowing the name of the reporting agent would definitely throw off the TSA for sure.
    Maybe even freak them out.

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