“This Passenger Cannot Be Assigned To An Exit Row”

Jul 20, 2014 by

“This Passenger Cannot Be Assigned To An Exit Row”

Learning that jetsetting terrorists aren’t allowed to sit in exit rows.

Today I purchased a ticket from my hometown airport to San Diego. There was only one window seat left on the plane, and I selected it. That’s when something awesome happened. I got this message:

“In accordance with TSA regulations, this passenger cannot be assigned to an exit row.”

Theories as to why:

  1. Terrorists hate humans so much we would physically block exit points in the event of a crash and/or fire.
  2. They make you do that weird verbal confirmation thing after the flight attendant recites that exit row speech, and we’re known for only speaking Arabic.
  3. The TSA just likes making stupid rules vacant of any rationale.

I’m going with number three.



-Jetsetting Terrorist

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  1. toyotabedzrock

    They think you might decide to step outside mid flight.

    • cliffontheroad

      Worse … you might let someone IN in mid flight.


      old hippy joke, rolling down the highway and the passenger recloses his door. “Who just got in?” asked the stoned driver.

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